As someone of, or all of you should know. I'm not one of those people that likes to show emotion, and I'm usually very good at it. I've been a bottler for a very long time, I've had time to practice, it's not healthy and I don't suggest people do it, I've been depressed for over 5 years now and bottling has not helped. Fair enough it's gotten me friends and things like that.... Believe me, if I showed how I was really feeling all the time, people would think twice before coming over to talk to me. That's why I will say that the only thing I'm actually very good at is acting, I've acted happy in front of people for a long time, and I can honestly say I think there are only 2 or 3 people who actually know many private things about me!
So I feel like I need to write things down more, get things out. I would love it if people gave me things to write about. Message me or something.
Right now I have something SO bad going through my mind and I need to take my mind off of it, before I lose it!!! And that wont be pretty. But what? I was thinking a while ago to get on youtube, I have an account and things I'm sure I could rant about. But it could be more embarrassing, no one would watch it.... Just like no one reads this really.
I don't have something interesting to say really do I!!!
Which is why I need you help..... Give me something to do, something to stop me thinking about stuff I would much rather forget, let me start thinking about things you want me to think about, things that interest you!!!
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Okay, I've read all your entries of 2010!
ReplyDeleteThere certainly is a lot to be said. I have to really think on what I've read and let it sink in before I say anything at all. I can certainly relate to a lot you've been going through.
For now I will only say this:
- I strongly advice AGAINST going on YouTube to do any sort of rant. There are so many unfriendly people there (to put it mildly) that it is easier to just say "all people on YouTube are awful".
I don't think you'd want to deal with the kind of abuse you can get from them. I know I wouldn't.
Secondly; my experience with this "must...write...or else..." issue is that it's better to just write when you have something to write about, and when you don't have something to write about, then just leave it alone.
Otherwise you'd be betting a lot of money on a single horse, to keep yourself where you want yourself to be. This could really stress out the 'horse' so to speak and you might end up beating it over the finish line just to get a tiny bit of the feeling you think you need.
I hope that makes sense :P
I'll check back on you once in a while to see what is up. :)
Bye for now,
--Ray