Bang!!

You forget sometimes about reasons why your down... And then one thing happens and all the shit comes back!
I want to disappear! I have a migraine of mess in my head and my mum doesn't understand. She doesn't know the first thing about me because shes never once stood back and watched as my life crashes! Because shes too busy with hers. I try to sympathies... but how can i if she wont take the time to get to know her already fucked up daughter!
She moans and complains about whats lacking in her life.
I'm lacking in her life... Because shes pushing me away.
She's pushed me away.

I try to love her, and that's harsh I know. But how can i love the person who brought me into this would of deceit and lies and pain. How can i love her if she wont help it go away. How can i love her, knowing that all i need to hear sometimes is my own mother to say - I love You.
But she doesn't love me, because she doesn't even know who i am. No one does.

Not Even Me.

I want Barry Scott... Or the Cilit Bang to my life. To end everything that is fucked up.
Bang and the dirt is gone...
Bang and the mess is solved...
Bang...